3 Lessons I Learned From Coaching My Wife

podcast Apr 15, 2020
Mark Struczewski

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Have you ever tried to coach a spouse? Or a child? Or a family member? Or maybe a friend? How'd that work out for you? Let me share 3 lessons I've learned as I coach my wife.

Before I get started, you need to know that after I prepared for this episode, I asked my wife, Michelle, to read over them so that her voice would be heard as well. She approved. YAY!

Lesson #1: it’s really hard!

Oh my goodness!

Look. Jesus couldn’t preach His message in His home town so what makes me think I can coach my wife?

Seriously, it’s really, really hard.

I can’t coach Michelle like I would a client because, well, we live together!

Lesson #2: patience!

While I may be Mr. Productivity, Michelle is Mrs. Anti-Productivity. LOL

I geek out over this productivity stuff, Michelle…doesn’t.

And since she was furloughed from her job on March 30 (2020), where she was a travel agent and sold cruises, she’s been dealing with the loss of her job (as so many of you are).

While I did help her set up a schedule, she doesn’t always stick to it. Some days are more productive than others. And that’s okay.

Doesn’t it drive me crazy? Of course. But then again, we’re wired differently.

Lesson #3: lots of encouragement

Like I just mentioned, there will be good days and not-so-good days.

I’ve learned - rather quickly - that nagging doesn’t work (I wonder how many women reading words said Amen out loud?!).

When Michelle does something well - in terms of productivity, I try to praise her for it. (Humans, like animals, tend to repeat things they are given feedback on…good OR bad!) Though, I admit, I don’t always succeed here.

But when she has an off day, I have to remember to keep my yap shut!

Challenges I’m having

As an entrepreneur, I work 7 days a week. Nope. Take out the word “work”. I love what I do too much to consider this work.

Michelle likes her weekends and just chilling out. (But don’t get the impression Michelle is lazy, because she’s not).

I have to keep remembering that I’m not an ER doc, a police officer dealing with a hostage situation, or a pilot landing a plane in a war zone. I’m a productivity expert.

I’ve yet to receive an emergency productivity call! LOL

What am I saying: most things I do or want to do can wait. I’ve got to remember that. Sometimes I do, other times I don’t.

How am I doing?

Well, I asked Michelle and this is what she said: “Some days are better than others. It’s hard to help my hubby to understand that changing my mindset isn’t easy or formulaic. I wish it were! Motivation pills aren’t a thing!”

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