How to NOT be Productive

productivity Sep 14, 2019

I teach a lot about how you can improve your productivity but in this article, I'm going to flip the tables a little bit. I'm going to teach you how not to be productive.

I hope you realize this is a satirical article. If not, maybe you really don't want to be productive. Maybe you think, you know, I'm so tired of trying to be more productive. I don't want to be productive anymore. Mark, can you help a guy out? Can you help somebody out who doesn't want to be productive?

Why, yes, I can. If this is you or if you just need a laugh, I dedicate this article to you.

Let's just start right off with a really easy one: don't try.

Stop trying to be productive. If you truly want to be unproductive. Stop trying.

Suppose you're working on a task or a project and all of a sudden you find yourself accidentally becoming more productive. Well, stop! Ask yourself, "what am I trying to do here? Oh, my goodness. Am I being productive? What should I do? Mark said don't try. What does that mean? Oh, yeah! Don't try. I'm going to stop."

Now that you've stopped doing whatever you were doing because you're committed not to being productive, what's next?

Don't ask for help.

As you're working along and you get stuck, just stay where you are. Just sit there and look lost and say, "I don't know what to do."

Don't ask for help. Don't go to Google. Don't go to YouTube. Don't ask your co-workers. Don't ask your spouse. Just stop.

Don't try and don't ask for help.

And then there's this...

Don't have a positive mindset.

Do you remember the cartoon Winnie the Pooh? I grew up watching this show. If you've never seen the show, there's the very happy-go-lucky Christopher Robin and Winnie the Pooh. And then there was Eeyore. He always had a somber attitude: it's never going to work out. Woe is me. The sky's falling. What am I gonna do?"

If you want to not be productive, you want to have the attitude of Eeyore.

I teach people how to improve their productivity. I want you to creator your productivity. But if this is not your thing, make sure you're watching as much news and following celebrity gossip as you can. Just let negativity pour over you like a shower.

But what if you accidentally figure something out. "Wait a minute. Did I just accidentally become productive? Oh, oh! I'll say myself an affirmation: I don't want to be productive. And don't laugh when you say this! Remember, no positive mindset is allowed! Keep a scowl on your face.

Before you stop reading...

If you want to be more productive, then just do the opposite of what I wrote in this article:

  • Try
  • Ask for help
  • Have a positive mindset

But I would argue that before these three things: choose to be productive. You won't become productive by accident. It has to be an intentional decision.

Are you a Winnie the Pooh or Christopher Robin or Eeyore?

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