Are You Operating Out of Love or Fear? - Rebecca Wiener McGregor

fear love mindset May 14, 2021
Mark Struczewski, Rebecca Wiener McGregor

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Rebecca Wiener McGregor is an Amplifier of Love and catalyst for breakthroughs! She shares her gifts as a transformational hypnotist + money mindset coach committed to helping overworking and over-giving visionaries release old blocks, traumas, and hidden fears to find a deeper sense of self-worth and determination to live life on their own terms.

Her website

TRANSCRIPT

Mark Struczewski
Rebecca Wiener McGregor, I'm glad you're here because we're going to talk about how you're an amplifier of love and we need more love. Was it the Beatles that said, all we need is love? We need more love in the world, right?

Rebecca Wiener McGregor
Yes, we do.

Mark Struczewski
And you're a catalyst for breakthroughs. And who doesn't want a breakthrough, not a breakdown? We all want a breakthrough, there's a difference. And you're a money mindset coach. So before we get started, I mean, I told people, what you are, who you are not what you are, you're a human being. Is there anything that you want to add to put you in context for the listener?

Rebecca Wiener McGregor
Hmm, I want them to know that all of the skills that I have, that I help people with, they already have inside of them.

Mark Struczewski
Nice.

Rebecca Wiener McGregor
They already have all the love they need. It's just really identifying it, uncovering it, revealing it, strengthening it. It's all there already.

Mark Struczewski
I love that. I'm a big fan of Tony Robbins. And I've actually I never thought I do this. I've actually signed up for his unlimited power within virtual weekend coming up at the beginning of June. And what scares me Rebecca, is this thing is like 55 hours a day for four days. It's like, oh my gosh. But what people don't realize is Tony Robbins is just like everyone else out there. We go, oh my gosh, they're so amazing. They started with nothing. They started with no followers. They started with nobody buying their books. They started with no one, you know, showing up for the training. And now look where they are. Because they didn't settle. They didn't go oh, woe is me. They don't play Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh, I use Winnie the Pooh a lot of my show. They said, Look, I have this gift. And I want the listener to understand what you just said, Your greatness is already inside you. Don't settle. Don't say woe is me. This is my lot in life. make excuses. Because you can be the most amazing human being if you want to. Now, if you don't want to, if you just want to binge watch Netflix all day long and not contribute to society. That's certainly your choice. So what do you say to that?

Rebecca Wiener McGregor
I think that's absolutely your choice. And even discovering what your magical thing is what your magic, your personal magic, your gift to the world is that the part of you that doesn't know fully what that is yet, is part of your journey. And that's okay. We don't have to judge ourselves so flippin harshly for not knowing what we don't know yet. Because let's face it, I so my career has spanned almost 17 years, only 17 years this month. And there are stadiums filled with servers of volumes of things that I don't know. But I know my gifts.

Mark Struczewski
You know, I'm so glad you said that. I'll tell you why. I'm 55 years young next month, June 21. Hint, hint, it'll be my 56th birthday, I'd like presents. Here's the thing, I don't think I knew what I wanted to be until around 2010. So I was fired from my corporate job in 2005. And I stumbled and bumbled around for five or six years. And then I had a coach at the time, who oddly enough, was a Tony Robbins results coach. And he gave me the idea of being a productivity coach. I didn't know what a productivity coach was. I thought, what are we talking about? But my point was, it wasn't until 2010, 11 years ago, when I was like 40 years old, that I figured out what I wanted to do with my life. So if you're listening to this conversation with Rebecca, and myself, and you're like, but I don't know, but if you're still breathing, it's okay. Some people find it early. Some people find it late. Colonel Sanders didn't fry a piece of chicken until age 69. So if you're still alive, and you don't know what your mission is, I want people to understand that doesn't mean you're a bad person. Right?

Rebecca Wiener McGregor
Right. And this was I had 17 years in the banking industry before I had 17 years in mindset, hypnosis and coaching. And I know that there's something else even on the other side of that for me, isn't there a thing? So I don't know what the thing is, or who said it, but that most people have three careers in their life.

Mark Struczewski
Oh, I've heard that.

Rebecca Wiener McGregor
Yeah. So I don't know who said it. Maybe you do, but that we don't have to place so much pressure on ourselves. Like, someone said to me earlier today, that they they've been doing this podcast, and the podcast kind of drains them a little bit, but they don't want it to fade out. And they already have all this sunk "cost" into it. Like I've put so much effort into becoming this version of myself. That I don't know if it's worth it for me to change at this time in my life. Do I want to spend that energy, do I want to spend the money, maybe the time, sacrificing maybe some time away from my family to get the education I would need for this next thing that, you know, we worry about what we've already spent, what we might spend, and all that time we're unfulfilled and time is passing anyway.

Mark Struczewski
You know, fulfillment is a key part of life. And I don't want to shock anyone, but you only get one life. And like my podcast, lights me up. But if you're doing anything, and you're like, Oh, I don't want to do it today. Now, don't quit your job today. But what do you want to do with your life, and to your point, they already know, people know, it may be buried underneath all that garbage in your subconscious mind. But your dream is still there. It's still there. And I what I encourage people to do I want to know what your thoughts on this is. If you're not sure, I want you to go get a notebook, a pen. And if you don't know what that is, go Google with a notebook and pen is because the the younger generation has seemed to go all electronic, and go someplace quiet. And just brainstorm and just write and write and write and uncover those dreams that you had a year ago, five years ago, 25 years ago that are still there. And that could be the first step for you going, wow, I don't like what I'm doing now. But I love doing this. I'm going to try to find a way to bridge the gap. Do you agree with me?

Rebecca Wiener McGregor
Totally.Yes. That time for self reflection builds your awareness and awareness is key to everything we want to shift, right, we have to know that the problem is there, or the path is there in order to take it. And if you're in a situation where you know that you don't want what you have, there are still probably bits of what you have that you actually like, and write down what you do like about what you're doing. And then make the big list of what you don't like, and flip it and see if that is where you are meant to be. If you don't like working as part of a huge team, would you like doing something on your own? Or vice versa? We'll do if you're working in more of a corporate selling widgets kind of job, do you want to have something with more spiritual meaning, you know, just kind of figuring it out. And giving yourself the grace to figure it out not judging this process, as I have got to figure this out by Monday. And that if I don't figure it out, I'm really a loser. And I'm not living my best life. This exploration is part of your life, it is part of your journey.

Mark Struczewski
Yes, and please listener, write it down, don't do it in your head. Don't do it on your iPhone, I can tell you, I used to resist it for so long, Rebecca and someone said, there's some powerful stuff going on between your brain and your hand when you're writing things down. So I can't emphasize that enough. Write it down in your own handwriting, you will, you will get revelations from your body and your subconscious mind that you wouldn't otherwise.

Rebecca Wiener McGregor
Absolutely your your pen might just move on its own to share things that you didn't even realize or a doodle will come out. That gives you a sign a symbol of something. It's so powerful. And if you're questioning if you have a question rolling around in your head, or you're down a path of negative what ifs on the situation that you might be wanting to step into. Write those questions down. Yes. Because your brain knows when you make a record of those questions. And then it doesn't have to keep running them cycling them through your mind reminding you that you still don't know the answer.

Mark Struczewski
Yep, that is so important. I once read a book, that said that our brains are so busy, they're trying to keep track of everything. But once you write it down, then the brain can go, okay, Rebecca, Mark, the listener, whatever, they wrote it down, they can let it go. But if they don't, if the brain doesn't think that you've captured it in an app, or in a notebook, it's trying to hold on to that, and a million other things. And that's where we have a problem with forgetting things. So do your brain a favor, write it down, or at the very least, put it in the Notes app on your phone. That way your brain can go Okay, they've written it down. Now I can let it go.

Rebecca Wiener McGregor
Yeah, absolutely. And we have the quote unquote, normal human has 60 to 70,000 thoughts per day, requiring a lot of our brain if we never write anything down. We don't give it a break. We don't and we have to read trust it beyond its bandwidth sometimes if we're, if we are trying to do things without ever writing it down.

Mark Struczewski
So you call yourself an amplifier of love, and the world does need more love. So tell us, why do you call yourself the amplifier of love?

Rebecca Wiener McGregor
Okay, thank you for that question. I believe that our feelings and our emotions and our behaviors come from one of two sources fear and love. Fear is not bad, it's not our enemy or anything like that. It can kind of be a beast at times. But when we operate from love, we're operating from our true our truth, our standards, we're operating from who we really want to be our integrity, our congruence, our alignment, all of that. And we are much happier doing that. When we operate from fear. We operate from scarcity, we operate from jealousy, we operate from, another symptom of fear is anger. We operate from this place where we're really operating from the past. We're operating from the stories that we tell ourselves based on our experiences, we're operating from history, not only ours, our family's history, our friends, the things we see on television, the movies we watch, all of that is in our subconscious mind. And every time that we operate from a place of, I'm afraid this isn't going to go the way I want it to go. And I need to control everything. We are furthering that feeling and that experience in our life. And every time we stand in love, we further love, what kind of ripple Do you want to have?

Mark Struczewski
I love that. And you know, we're talking on May 14 here. And we have this thing called COVID going on, a pandemic. And I'm amazed because there's two types of people, there are people like, hey, you know what, if I get it, I get it. If I don't, I don't, there's 99.7% chance if I get it, I'll recover. But there are people who are paralyzed about getting this virus. And I'm thinking myself, you never leave home, ever you have everything delivered. And I really believe, I'm not a doctor, I don't play one on television. But I believe, to your point, if you operate in the fear that you're going to get COVID, but not only are you going to get it, but you're going to get the worst case of it, you're gonna be on a ventilator, you're going to die, I think, maybe not a self-fulfilling prophecy. But I think you're actually increasing your chances of getting COVID because now you're worrying. But if you're like, hey, listen, I know it's real. But I'm not going to worry about it. I'm going to do what I can to protect myself. But I'm going to, like you say operateout of my life, out of love instead of out of fear. Now I know you're not a doctor. But do you agree with my assessment?

Rebecca Wiener McGregor
Yes, I do. Because I believe that we can operate out of caution and awareness. Rather than panic. Yes. Caution and awareness says I'm treating my body the way I need to to keep it healthy. I'm doing the best I can. I'm respecting everybody else's situation with with whatever they're feeling about it. And I am operating from a place of health and desiring health, rather than fearing death, fearing illness, fearing negative outcomes. I'm not saying that everyone who got COVID was fearing it, and created it themselves. But when we are so afraid of things, and we picture ourselves in these situations over and over our mind wants to give them to us. So when you get a positive COVID test, you know, we know some people with positive COVID tests have no symptoms. And some people have worried themselves into creating symptoms. And I'm not here to promote either side of this very polarizing debate about how COVID is or isn't or whatever. But just to be in a state of love with yourself. Think about what you want in your life. And then prepare yourself, strengthen yourself for when things come up.

Mark Struczewski
Yeah, I think we have to get out of the judging business. Yeah, we that's why I left Twitter. I left Instagram. I left Tik Tok. I'm tired of people judging other people. I will give everyone the benefit of doubt when I first meet someone, I will assume you're an awesome human being. As a matter of fact, this is how I believe. There are like 8 billion people on this planet. I think 99.99% of them are caring, sweet, gentle, loving souls. I really believe that any country, any skin color. The problem is it's the .01 percent who get on the news. And they get all the sensationalism. So I really believe most human beings are nice people. Do you agree with me?

Rebecca Wiener McGregor
Oh, yes. Because we, I believe that the universe is a really loving place. And we are part of that. And so we are brought into this world with love inside of us. That might sound a little woowoo or whatever. But I believe everyone has this ability to love from a deep, deep place. And to be in a state of non-judgement is the ultimate act of love toward yourself and toward others. Because judgment takes a lot of energy. Yes. And it locks in our beliefs, like, we think these 60 to 70,000 thoughts per day, right? And as soon as we attach to one like, Oh, yeah, that's a really good thought. Whether it is fearful or loving. As soon as we attach to it, we start to create beliefs, and then that belief will become a fact for us in our mind. Yep. That is how powerful our minds are. That one thought can become a fact, when they're just little opinions, usually that are running through our mind all day long. So we don't have to. In fact, releasing ourselves of judgment gives us space between our thoughts. And that space is where inspiration comes. It's where we get to be in a place of gratitude, we get to be in this present moment and operate from this moment. Rather than basing all of our current experiences and responses on what we've done. Because of our past experiences.

Mark Struczewski
I love how you said that. Because as an evangelical Christian, the Bible does say judge not lest ye be judged. Now, I'm not saying I never judge people I do. I'm human I, I'm a fallen person, I screw up. But I try not to judge people. Because I used to be one of these guys. And I still am. At some point I will be on the freeway, and someone will cut me off. And I'll get really mad at them. And I'm like, wait a minute, this person did not wake up and go, okay, I can't wait till I see Mark on the freeway. And I'm gonna cut him off just to ruin his day; they may be going to the emergency room. Because their child got hurt at school and the child got rushed to the emergency room, or maybe a family member or something like that. We assume that things are happening to us, because the world's out to get us. The world doesn't care about us for the most part. I really believe that. And we see this person cut us off. And we're like, oh, that's it, my day is ruined, and we just get so angry; the person doesn't even know we exist. And yet we let this one small interaction completely derail our whole day. For what I know. And I catch myself doing that. I'm like, Why are you getting upset, it's a minor thing. Just sing that song from Frozen, and every parent knows it, Let It Go and actually let it go.

Rebecca Wiener McGregor
Right? The thing about that interaction you on the freeway, someone cuts you off, you attach to that; you start judging that person, you can create a whole story about what they all the things that they're doing wrong in their life, right. And then you carry that energy into your next experience; that emotion. Energy and emotion, to me are the same thing. So you carry that emotion into your next experience. So the person that you're with, you are already coming with baggage, because you've chosen to judge the person in that vehicle, right? And then your interaction with them is going to be different, because they're going to feel that emotion when you walk in the room. They're going to feel your resistance, they're going to feel that you're already in a state, right? Because we can feel it. We can cut the tension with a knife. That's how that saying came about. So they'll feel it, they'll be on guard, you'll have a less than authentic interaction with them. Because you're not in your true state of love. And you're not present. You're still ruminating over what just happened.

Mark Struczewski
Yep.

Rebecca Wiener McGregor
And then they go out. This is more about the ripple, right? They go out into their next interaction, and you go out into yours. And then pretty soon we're infecting people with this one 10-second experience. So we had that we placed all sorts of stories and judgments about

Mark Struczewski
Yep.

Rebecca Wiener McGregor
And who knows what happens for the the next person and how that impacts their interaction?

Mark Struczewski
Mm hmm, there are some people we don't want them to be in a bad state, like a surgeon operating on your loved one, a pilot landing a plane, you know, so what if you get mad at this one person and you cut them off, and all of a sudden they're gonna fly you to your destination. Now that's a real outlier of an example. But I'm just saying, when you react to somebody, you don't know how they're going to react to you. You may just be venting, maybe you got off to a bad start you got in the car this morning, and your kid forgot to fill the car last night. So now you're already late, you had to go to the gas station to get the gas in the car because your kid didn't do the job. They didn't fill the car up after work. Not that any parents ever had to deal with that. And now, and now you're running late. So you're already in a bad state before you hit the freeway. And I love how you say it's a ripple effect. So you're in, you're acting out angrily toward other people, now you're affecting their life, they're going to work, maybe they had a very important presentation to give. Now, because you were rude to them, now they're not in their prime state. So now they're going to blow the presentation. We don't know where these ripples are going. And I'm gonna say I'm number one. I'm like, you know what, I don't stop and think about this. But this conversation with you, Rebecca, is making me stop and think everything I do and say, has a ripple effect. And I don't know how far those ripples go. And I think everyone listening to our conversation, they need to stop and heed your words and go, Okay, let's think about the ripple effect.

Rebecca Wiener McGregor
Yes, thank you. I'm so glad it's stirring something up in you. The other thing is that we're operating from a place that most people are in a, in a healthy space in their mind. And given the fact that we are in a global pandemic, and everyone has emotions. And everyone has a history and everyone has bits of trauma, some small, some big, some everywhere in between, that we're, we don't always come to someone who is in a really healthy state and share our rudeness. Someone could really be struggling. And then we come in and they feel a reaction to that of losing more worthiness, feeling more defeat, feeling more hopelessness. Now, I'm not saying that we're responsible for everyone else's emotional state. I believe that in self-responsibility with that, but we are responsible for what we put out there, we're responsible for the emotion we share, the energy that we share, and the consequences of our words and our actions.

Mark Struczewski
Now, I just want to pause here and just just pause for a second because you just gave us some incredible information, We are responsible for our reactions, we're not responsible for anyone else's attitudes, reactions. And so I would say the onus is on us to say, okay, do I want to project fear, anger, or love and peace, and you get to choose? Yes, someone ran a red light and smacked in your car, and it's a brand new car, and now you're late for work and you go blow the presentation, but you still have a choice of how you're going to react to that, Is your first reaction going, you moron, you ran the red light or your first reaction would be Are you okay? Right, my wife a couple weeks ago got rear-ended. And my first question when she called me is Are you alright? And I said, My second question was, did the guy who hit you, was his first question are you alright? And she goes, yes. That's the way it should be. Not you hit my car because the cars can be fixed. Okay? Are you okay? And I want people to understand that you have a choice of how you're going to respond, please take that microsecond and stop and go, okay. Maybe they were in a bad state. They usually don't talk to me this way. I'm assuming a co worker here. Right. Let me just not react not react in anger. Let me react in love, because maybe they're going through something. If we all just take that second, the stop before reply. I think we'd have a much more loving world.

Rebecca Wiener McGregor
Yes, there's power in the pause. mean, you hear somebody giving you a good news, you hear someone giving you bad news, there's usually a pause right before you get that. Right. There's pause before the punchline comes. There's power in that pause. And in our taking pause in this context, we actually can observe how our body is responding. Now, I'm not suggesting that we need to stop feeling our feelings. So we don't ever feel mad again. And we just push that away, because that creates a whole host of other problems, right? We don't need to bottle it up. But when we practice, and it is a practice of operating from a place of hey, what's actually happening right now? Am I safe? Am I okay? Can I react in a from a place of love right now? Do I need to blow up? What can I do to make this the best outcome in this situation? Now I've been doing this, like I said, for a long time. And I'm not perfect at it. I am nobody's guru, I am a very much a human woman who has moments where that pause goes away. But I love being in the practice, being in observation of how I'm reacting or feeling before I actually have a reaction. That little pause is a really fun practice. And it becomes so powerful, that observation of yourself becomes so powerful, because you learn how you respond in current situations, which helps you uncover limiting beliefs or beliefs about stories or programs that you're running in your head that are no longer serving you, and giving you that indicator of new beliefs that you can start to believe.

Mark Struczewski
And it's like a muscle. Yeah, the more you pause, the more it becomes a natural part of your being. So you can't do it like Monday afternoon, and then Thursday morning, you have to do it consistently. Yeah, you'll fail, you'll succeed, you'll fail, succeed, you'll get more successes, and all of a sudden, that pause will be a natural part. But you have to start doing it and start learning how to build that muscle in order for it to become natural. It's not just going to become natural. Just because you listen to Rebecca, say it, you're going to have it put into practice.

Rebecca Wiener McGregor
Right? Oh, I know about the pause. I know about it. You know, we we hear that a lot. I hear that a lot. And I was I was I did that my in my life where I learned something or thought I learned it because I knew it. But I didn't really know it. And I hadn't really learned it because I hadn't put it into practice, we can think we're operating from that place of the pause, because we read about it in a book or heard about it on a podcast. But if we're not actually doing it, we're not actually reaping the benefits. And there are many benefits layers and layers. When we build our awareness, we build a relationship with ourselves. And we get to have these observations of how we want to respond, how we are responding versus how we do want to respond.

Mark Struczewski
It's like, if you ever want to learn how to swim, you can watch all the YouTube videos you want, you can buy the best bathing suit, and the best towel and the best sandals and everything else. But at some point, you have to get in the pool, you have to jump in the pool in the water and start swimming. So Rebecca, you gave us so much to think about today. If there is one thing that you want people to take away because it's like listening to us is like drinking from a firehose and and I don't want them to, I don't want them to go away overwhelmed. So I want you to pull out one nugget that they can say, Okay, this is something I should focus on, what would that one thing be?

Rebecca Wiener McGregor
Your feelings come from one of two places, fear and love. And you have the ability to choose love more often. If that is what you're desiring. I don't think you listen to a podcast like this if you're not choosing love, right? If you're not in a growth state, if you're not into expansion, into change and ripples. You can choose love and it doesn't have to be an arduous process. Just moment by moment choosing love. You don't have to say I'm gonna choose love forever and ever and I'm gonna be perfect. I'm just gonna choose love right now, just for today. I'm going to choose love. I'm gonna choose not to judge. Just start with a moment, start with the day and let it grow from there. You have the power to do it. I promise you. It just takes a little bit of practice.

Mark Struczewski
I love it. So where can we go to find out more about you and what you're doing in the world?

Rebecca Wiener McGregor
Rebeccawiener.com. Find me there. Book a call. I'd love to meet you.

Mark Struczewski
Alright. Well, Rebecca, thank you so much for being on the show today. It was an absolute pleasure talking to you. I learned something I've got to learn to really take that pause because there is power in the pause. So thank you so much for your time today.

Rebecca Wiener McGregor
Thank you, Mark, appreciate you.

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